In about three years, I lost my whole immediate family.
There isn’t a clean way to say that. It’s a lot of loss packed into a short stretch of time, and it changed the shape of my life. Then came the judgment, the conflict, and other people making decisions that reached into my life. I’m still carrying all of it.
I have doubt. I have fear. Some days I look at what’s ahead and can’t tell you how it’s going to work out.
But I still have faith that I’ll make it.
Not because I have some secret map. I don’t. I have this dream I’ve carried for years, and I have the work I’m doing now to give it a real chance. EyeJelly is still growing. I’m still learning, making, fixing, and showing up. I believe that if I keep putting in the work, I can succeed.
That belief doesn’t cancel my grief. It doesn’t make me fearless or turn what happened into something easy to explain. It just gives me a reason to take the next step when I can’t see the whole road.
When I look at this picture, I see a man who has had to absorb more loss than he ever expected. I also see a man who hasn’t stopped believing there’s something ahead worth working for.
I don’t know exactly how I’ll get there. I know I’m scared. I know I have doubts.
And I still have faith that I’ll make it.
That’s the tea this week.